For a person who spends so much time thinking about God, I am actually very sympathetic with atheism. The father of my children is an atheist, as was the boyfriend who preceded him, my best friend from childhood, and perhaps the majority of people I've ever known (I'm from San Francisco, so...). In fact, I probably have more in common with your average atheist than I do with the average believer. I admire their rationality, their humanist values, their belief in science, observation, and experience. The only difference between an atheist and myself is that I believe that I have experience of God, and an atheist believes that he or she doesn't.
There is no arguing this point, of course. I cannot convince an atheist of God's existence any more than they could convince me of the reverse. Nor would I want to; after a lifetime of observing the faith habits of others, I have come to the conclusion that personal revelation is the only way to come to any sort of truth. In other words, it is more important that someone be intellectually and spiritually honest with themselves than it is for them to agree with me. Atheism is a valid stance. I diverge with my husband on this question, but I do not worry about his mortal soul. He's entitled to his opinion.
Still, there are a couple of philosophical matters which I have not yet reconciled with the atheist point of view--if all atheists can be thought of as having a single point of view. To wit:
Origins
Frank Lloyd Wright said "I believe in God, only I spell it nature." This is a popular quote with atheists, but I am too jealous to let them have it to themselves. Nature is unquestionably where I perceive the manifestation of God. Like an atheist, I see randomness in nature; but in order for there to be that randomness, there must first be existence. What is the origin of that existence? I am fine with the not knowing here. Scientific discovery is a long process, and I'm not holding my breath. But if we never come up with a better answer than that it's turtles all the way down, I will continue to believe that the beginning was God. And what was before God? This question, truly, unites the unknown with the unknowable. Deep.
Consciousness
You do not have to believe in God to acknowledge the phenomenon of consciousness. For me, though, the two are linked because my experience of God does not occur in the physical realm. I have never seen, heard, or touched God. Yet his presence is as certain to me as any other aspect of my life. This is not unique to me. Music, love, humor, art--all intangible, none concrete; still, people build entire lives around them, yearn for them, die for the loss of them. These things do not feed our bodies or protect our young; why do they exist? This question is the subject of much study, and should continue to be. Understanding who we are is central to human culture. But there may be a limit to what we can understand about consciousness, since consciousness is the very tool with which we understand things. And so I will turn to the unlikeliest of places for my wisdom here, to a poem by Shel Silverstein called "The Loser," which I have loved from childhood. The hero of the poem has literally lost his head, and muses:
"And I can't look for it
'Cause my eyes are in it
And I can't call to it
'Cause my mouth is on it
(Couldn't hear me anyway
'Cause my ears are on it)
Can't even think about it
'Cause my brain is in it."
If God ever had reason to run a series of PSA's, this might be a good tag line. Consciousness: you can't even think about it, 'cause your brain is in it.
More for the godless, and those who love them: How Julia Sweeney became an atheist, on This American Life. Her story is the second half, so you can skip ahead; but the first half is about separation of church and state, which is always interesting.
